JIM
I think I’m starting to be seen as a children’s entertainer. I never liked the “children’s TV” label. Do you think I’ll be able to break out of it?
BERNIE
Not likely. You can’t even get out of this room.
Jim watches in horror as the room around him disappears to reveal that he’s been in The Cube this whole time! His life is a lie!

BERNIE
You should consider buying the Walt Disney Company.
JIM
Walt Disney? He’ll never make it in features! He should stick to shorts.
BERNIE
Jim, it’s the 1980s now.
JIM
Time isn’t real if you never sleep! The future and the past are the same! You’ll understand when I make Timepiece.
BERNIE
Jim, are you okay?
JIM
Nope!

ORIGINAL TWEET

JIM
Can we get another take of the drum rolling out of the music store in front of Emmet and Ma?
BERNIE
Jim, it’s 1983.

ORIGINAL TWEET

JIM
I guess it’s true what they say — “You’ll never get out of The Cube!”
BERNIE
Jim, only you say that. You say it every day and it creeps me out.

ORIGINAL TWEET

WMA BOSS (O.S.)
Bernie, have you heard of Jim Henson and the Muppets?
BERNIE
Heard of him? Yes, I have. Say, wouldn’t it be great if I could tell you that I had just signed him on with our company? Wouldn’t that be an amazing coincidence? Pretty unrealistic though.
CUT TO:
GOBLINS
Will you listen to that rubbish? It doesn’t even start with “I wish!”
CUT TO:
BERNIE (CONT’D)
Boy, I wish I had a deal with Jim Henson right now!
LIGHTNING FLASHES. Little fuzzy creatures scurry around the room. Bernie looks around in horrified confusion. The doors burst open and a silhouette of a hairy man with a frog puppet on his hand rises into frame.
Bernie uncovers his eyes to see Jim Henson now standing in the room with him, contract in hand. Glitter is everywhere.
BERNIE
You’re him, aren’t you? You’re the Muppet King!
JIM
Actually, it’s “Muppet Man.”

ORIGINAL TWEET

JIM
I just don’t think I’m going to be able to pull this off. The Muppet Show is a failure. I’m a failure. I never do anything right.
BERNIE
Wow, that’s a weird thing for you to say since you’re usually an optimistic figure who seems unburdened by insecurity to the point that it’s hard to write a biopic that makes you a relatable character.
JIM
Gotcha! I have no doubts or insecurities and my attitude is positive!
BERNIE
You got me!

The bartender takes Jim to a dimly-lit table where BURR TILLSTROM, 43, is sitting alone, smoking a cigar.
BURR
What do you want, kid?
JIM
I hear you know how to reach a man called Brillstein. I’d like to show you my puppets.
BURR
You’re that Henson guy, aren’t you? The kid who thinks he found a way to do puppets for TV without a puppet theater, right?
JIM
That’s right.
BURR
It can’t be done. I’ve tried it a million times, kid. You’re better off quitting now while you’re young.
Jim opens his bag and takes out Kermit the Frog. Burr’s eyes widen with amazement. Jim puts Kermit on his hand.
KERMIT
Hi ho!
Burr is stunned.
BURR
Is that thing even a puppet?
JIM
I like to call it a “Muppet.”
BURR
And what does that make you? Some kind of “Muppet Man?”