We see a long line of deadly assassins in a TRUCK SHOT from right to left, starting at the back of the line. There’s a samurai with swords, a ninja with knives, a Soviet spy, an old western gunman, a caveman with a big club, Boba Fett, a Robocop, and, at the front of the line, a Robin Hood-like archer. The archer’s arrow is pointed at an apple on the head of the Southern Colonel, who is being performed by a nervous Jerry Nelson. She shoots the arrow into the apple.
JIM
That’s very nice, thank you. Next!
The archer exits. Jim replaces the apple on the colonel’s head as the line moves forward. The Robocop steps up and points a giant gun at the puppet. Jim looks at Jerry with a giddy smile.
JERRY N
He doesn’t have to stand so close, does he?
JIM
That’s okay, he doesn’t mind. Action!

INT. JOHN H. WILKINS, JR.’S DINING ROOM – EVENING
MR. WILKINS and MRS. WILKINS are seated at a round dining table with Jim and Jane. CLASSICAL MUSIC plays in the background as SERVANTS approach the table with elegant platters of muffins, biscuits and jam. One of them finishes pouring Wilkins Coffee into a mug at each place. Mr. Wilkins proudly raises his mug.
MR. WILKINS
A toast to Jim Henson, his Muppets, and our magnificent success!
Jim and Jane raise their mugs and take a drink, although Jim looks apprehensive about it and makes a sour face.
MR. WILKINS
Is something the matter, Mr. Henson?
JIM
Well, I didn’t want to say anything about it, but in all honesty, I don’t usually drink coffee. I’ve never cared for it.
Mr. Wilkins casually picks up his knife.
MR. WILKINS
Not even Wilkins Coffee?
JIM
I’m sorry Mr. Wilkins, but it’s just not for me.
Mr. Wilkins uses his knife to butter his biscuit.
MR. WILKINS
That’s no trouble at all! We’ll serve you anything you like.
JIM
You mean you don’t mind that I don’t like Wilkins Coffee?
MR. WILKINS
Why should I mind? Everyone has different tastes!
JIM
Exactly!
MR. WILKINS
Take me for example. I’ve never liked Stan Freberg records, but th–
Jim strangles Mr. Wilkins.

As the Muppets finish singing “RAINBOW CONNECTION,” we DOLLY OUT to reveal every Muppet and Henson creature ever made singing along, and then ZOOM IN on just one Muppet:
WILKINS
Now what do you think of Jim Henson?
Wilkins shoots you.
THE END
FADE OUT

FADE IN:
INT. MUPPET WORKSHOP – DAY
JIM HENSON, 40, looks at the camera, smiling, holding an American Express card.
JIM
Do you know me? Because I sure as frog don’t. I don’t have a clue who the frog I am! Let’s watch this biopic to find out.