JON STONE
Joan, we’ve talked it over, and we’ve decided that if we can’t get Jim Henson, one of us is going to have to take him out.
Jon places a gun on the table.
BOB
Golly!

INTERVIEWER
Did you ever imagine you would be this successful?
JIM
Honestly, yes. I’ve always known I was going to be someone who made a difference in the world. I’ve also always known the date of my death. It’s probably going to ruin Frank’s birthday plans, but what can I do? You can’t foresee these things.

ORIGINAL TWEET

DEAR
Always remember, Jim, to love and forgive everybody.
Jim takes his grandmother’s hand for the last time with tears in his eyes.
DEAR
It’s a good life. Enjoy it.
Dear COUGHS and then closes her eyes. When she dies, her head crumbles into little pieces in her pillow.
JIM
Neat, I’ll use that in The Dark Crystal.

ORIGINAL TWEET

In the front rows of the cathedral are the main Sesame Street Muppets, as well as other major puppet icons who came before Grover, including Howdy Doody, Kukla, and Ollie. Charlie McCarthy is seated with his sister, Candice. Everyone looks very sad, except for Mr. Johnson, who is eating popcorn and waiving a foam finger.
At the front of the room is a little, cute, adorable, lovable coffin by a podium. Jim Henson walks up to the podium to address the congregation of mourners.
JIM
Good morning and Wubba Wubba.
MOURNERS
(in unison, mournfully)
Wubba Wubba.
JIM
I’m not quite sure what to say in times like this, so I’ve prepared some vague hand gestures, as well as some accompanying sound effects that I’ll make with my mouth.
Jim moves his hands around and makes a FUN, SILLY SOUND EFFECT. The mourners CHUCKLE WARMLY. He makes a SAD, SILLY SOUND EFFECT. The mourners START CRYING.
JIM
I guess what I’m trying to say is that Grover is in a better place. His spirit is in Faffner Hall now. You may not know what that is yet, but you will!
NARRATOR (V.O.)
They won’t.

ORIGINAL TWEET

JIM
Hello there, my name is Jim Henson and I’m a dad guy, but it wasn’t always that way. Let me tell you a little story.

ORIGINAL TWEET

KERMIT
The neat thing about being a Muppet is that you’re connected to the spirit of your performer forever. I can tell you about where Jim Henson went when he died – death isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. You wait in a long line to get into heaven while some guy behind you won’t stop singing “The Candy Man” and “Something’s Gotta Give.”
JACK DONAGHY
Thank you, Kermit, for explaining the afterlife to us.
KERMIT
Listen, Jack, thank you for being the man we all aspire to be.

ORIGINAL TWEET

Joan Ganz Cooney brandishes an elephant gun.
JOAN
I’ve got an elephant gun!
The Disney lawyers are scared because she has an elephant gun and they don’t. The Henson children are sad because their father has just died and also because they don’t have elephant guns.

ORIGINAL TWEET

The instrumental portion of Derek and the Dominoes’ “LAYLA” plays over a montage of the deaths of Michael Eisner, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jack Gould, and Robert Holmes à Court.