JIM (CONT’D)
So that’s when I said, “That’s nice, but the reason I flew to England was to discuss your offer to produce The Muppet Show!” Eh? Get it?
Jim smiles as he waits for laughter. Michael, Jerry Juhl, Jocelyn, and Duncan all just stare at him in silence. Jim’s smile fades as the rest of them exchange awkward glances.
JOCELYN
Well, it’s certainly interesting.
JIM
You don’t like it.
Jim, moping, takes off his big Fozzie-esque comedian tie.
JERRY J
Jim, you’re very good at comedy when you’re playing silly characters, and you’re a great director! We all get a kick out of your work. But, maybe you’re just not cut out for comedy without puppets. You’re certainly not ready for stand-up.
JIM
Yeah, I suppose you’re right.
He tosses his tie into the waste basket.
JIM (CONT’D)
Anyway, I suppose you’ve been wondering why exactly I’ve called this meeting. Well I’ll tell you: I want to do a children’s show that brings peace to the world.
Everyone else is stunned. They look at Jim with amazement. Slowly, gradually, they all get big smiles on their faces that turn to LAUGHTER. Everyone starts LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY except for Jim, who looks confused.
Jocelyn is slapping her knee. Jerry has a fit of CACKLING, rocking back and forth like his stomach is in pain from laughter. Michael is banging his fists and his head on the table. Duncan is practically HOWLING AND SCREAMING. They all fall out of their chairs and start rolling on the floor with laughter. This goes on for about three solid minutes.
Finally, they pick themselves up off the floor. Jerry suddenly runs out the door into the lobby.
JERRY J
Hey, everybody! My friend Jim is going to tell you the funniest joke in the world!
Michael and Duncan shove Jim into the lobby.
JERRY J
(to Jim)
Go on, tell ‘em!
Jim still doesn’t understand what’s happening.
JIM
I think we should do a children’s show that brings peace to the world.
Everyone else in the lobby drops their things and falls onto the floor with WILD LAUGHTER. They’re crying, kicking, and flailing their arms around. Jim hangs his head in disappointment.
Suddenly, everyone forms a delighted mob around Jim and picks him up, carrying him out of the lobby.
CUT TO:
INT. COMEDY CLUB – EVENING
To a packed, standing room only crowd, a COMEDIAN, 27, is performing on stage, and the audience is enjoying it.
COMEDIAN
So the grizzly bear, he walks out of the room. Well, now, the panda bear–
He is suddenly cut off as the mob carrying Jim rushes onto stage and pushes the comedian off. They put Jim down in front of the microphone as Duncan adjusts it to his height.
MICHAEL
Here he is, folks, the greatest comedian in the history of humankind… Jim Henson!
The mob hurries into the wings and HUSHES themselves. Jim is standing in the spotlight in silence, looking depressed. He shyly rubs his arm. Finally, he quietly mutters:
JIM
I wanna do a show that brings peace to the world.
The audience just stares at him. They’re waiting for a punchline. Jim starts to walk off-stage. Suddenly, the whole audience erupts in what feels like an EXPLOSION OF LAUGHTER. They are holding onto one another just to stay standing, and they all start hugging each other and crying. The room is filled with thunderous CHEERS and APPLAUSE, and then becomes an orgy. They’re HOLLERING for more. Jim woefully walks back up to the microphone, accepting his fate. Off-stage in the wings, the comedian is yelling into a telephone.
COMEDIAN
Eddie! Eddie! It’s Marvin! …Your cousin, Marvin Murphy. You know that new comedy style you’re looking for? Well LISTEN to THIS!

Jim hurriedly walks across The Muppet Show’s set to the UNION REPRESENTATIVE standing in the corner of the Elstree soundstage, eating haggis.
JIM
Can we please have an hour of overtime today so we can finish shooting this episode?
UNION REP
Jim, why do you do this to yourself? Every night at the end of the shoot you come here and ask if you can have overtime, when you know that’s not going to happen. According to our union rules, we don’t work overtime unless we all hold a vote and the decision to stay is unanimous. In the history of the studio, a unanimous approval has never happened.
JIM
Yeah, I know.
UNION REP
… Until today.
JIM
What?
UNION REP
The crew talked it over and all agreed that, since it’s your last day and all, we’d like to thank you for being such a swell guy by giving you an hour of overtime.
JIM
Wow, that’s terrific! Now we have time to film that “Singin’ in the Rain” num– Oh shoot, I think that was Mr. Kelly who just bolted out the door in a sprint yelling “I’m free, I’m free, they’ll never make me sing that song again, NEVER, NEVER, HAHAHA!”
UNION REP
Yep, that was him.
JIM
Why isn’t anyone stopping him? Doesn’t Elstree Studios have security guards for this kind of thing?
UNION REP
You mean the Stormtroopers? You won’t get much help from them. According to their union rules, they don’t work overtime unless they all hold a vote and the decision to stay is unanimous….

DOOZ. DOOZERS – DOOZERS
Doozers Doozers Doozers.
DOOZERS
Doozers?
DOOZERS
Doozers!
Doozers Doozers.
DOOZERS (DOOZ’D)
(doozers)
Doozers.

ORIGINAL TWEET

DAVE
Frank, we’re worried about Jim. He’s really disappointed that they cancelled The Jim Henson Hour.
FRANK
What’s The Jim Henson Hour?
DAVE
I’m not sure, but I did about 13 episodes. Anyway, he’s disappeared and nobody knows where he would have gone.
FRANK
If he’s as depressed about it as you’re saying, there’s only one place he could be.
EXT. ENGLAND – DAY
Jim is sitting on a bench in England. Frank walks up to the bench from behind.
FRANK
Is this seat taken?
JIM
Frank? How did you know where to find me?
FRANK
This is where you always go when you’re upset…
Frank gestures around at England.
FRANK (CONT’D)
England.

ORIGINAL TWEET

LEW
How would you like to see my Boomerang Fish act? I throw the fish away and they come back to me, like a boomerang!
JIM
That’s nice, but the reason I flew to England was to discuss your offer to produce The Muppet Show.