Joan Ganz Cooney – Bears Wear Hats https://bearswearhats.com Mon, 09 Aug 2021 02:18:20 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.5 194645303 How Jim Henson Got to Sesame Street, Part 2 https://bearswearhats.com/2021/06/07/11/228/ Mon, 07 Jun 2021 07:30:00 +0000 http://bearswearhats.com/?p=228 Continue readingHow Jim Henson Got to Sesame Street, Part 2

]]>

JON STONE
Joan, we’ve talked it over, and we’ve decided that if we can’t get Jim Henson, one of us is going to have to take him out.
Jon places a gun on the table.
BOB
Golly!

]]> 228 How Jim Henson Got to Sesame Street, Part 1 https://bearswearhats.com/2021/06/06/08/424/ Sun, 06 Jun 2021 04:15:00 +0000 https://bearswearhats.com/?p=424 Continue readingHow Jim Henson Got to Sesame Street, Part 1

]]>

JOAN
You know, if we get that Jim Henson guy to do the show, we’ll have one of the best advertisers in the world working for us. It’ll be just like we’re making commercials, only instead of selling products, we’re selling letters and numbers!
LLOYD MORRISETT
We’ll make a fortune!
CUT TO:
INT. SESAME MANSION – DAY
Joan and Lloyd, now the wealthy owners of the alphabet and numbers, sit on their lush couches made of Muppet fur as they count their money and smoke cigars.
JOAN
I want to buy another yacht today. Let’s raise the price of the number eleven.

ORIGINAL TWEET

]]> 424 Lloyd Morrisett Has Second Thoughts https://bearswearhats.com/2021/06/05/08/427/ Sat, 05 Jun 2021 04:15:00 +0000 https://bearswearhats.com/?p=427 Continue readingLloyd Morrisett Has Second Thoughts

]]>

LLOYD MORRISETT
Joan, are you sure it’s ethical to use television to get children hooked on the alphabet? Letters are so addicting! I’ve just used 103 of them!
JOAN
Oh my gosh, you’re right! I guess we won’t create Sesame Street after all.
THE END
FADE OUT

ORIGINAL TWEET

]]> 427 Jim and Katzenberg Share https://bearswearhats.com/2021/05/20/09/437/ Thu, 20 May 2021 05:30:00 +0000 https://bearswearhats.com/?p=437 Continue readingJim and Katzenberg Share

]]>

BOUNCY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC begins.
KATZENBERG
Jim, the Disney deal is going to be the best thing that ever happened to you. No more worrying about Kermit and Fozzie and Big Bird all the time.
JIM
Wait, did you just say Big–
KATZENBERG
Slip of the tongue, Jim. I meant to say Bean Bunny. Oh Jim, you don’t need to worry. We did shake hands after all.
JIM
That’s true. I’ll bet this deal will work out great!
“SHARE” BY JOE RAPOSO
JIM
(I’VE GOT)
SOME SOMETHING THAT YOU WANT
(YOU’VE GOT)
SOME SOMETHING THAT I WANT
PUT BOTH SOMETHINGS TOGETHER
AND SHARE
KATZENBERG
(I’LL TAKE)
YOUR SOMETHING THAT YOU’VE GOT
(THEN TAKE)
JOAN’S SOMETHING THAT SHE’S GOT (THEN I’LL)
PUT BOTH THINGS TOGETHER
AND STEEEEAL!!!

ORIGINAL TWEET

]]> 437 I’ve Got an Elephant Gun! https://bearswearhats.com/2021/05/03/10/168/ Mon, 03 May 2021 06:03:00 +0000 http://bearswearhats.com/?p=168 Continue readingI’ve Got an Elephant Gun!

]]>

Joan Ganz Cooney brandishes an elephant gun.
JOAN
I’ve got an elephant gun!
The Disney lawyers are scared because she has an elephant gun and they don’t. The Henson children are sad because their father has just died and also because they don’t have elephant guns.

ORIGINAL TWEET

]]> 168 Is That Man Going to Kill Us? https://bearswearhats.com/2021/04/29/14/146/ Thu, 29 Apr 2021 10:00:00 +0000 http://bearswearhats.com/?p=146 Continue readingIs That Man Going to Kill Us?

]]>

Joan looks again at a disheveled Jim Henson taking a seat in the back of the room, then leans over to the STRANGER sitting next to her to whisper:
JOAN
Is that man going to kill us?
STRANGER
No … I am.
The stranger takes off his hat and coat to reveal that he is in fact HARVEY KNEESLAPPER, the psychotic serial killer!

]]> 146