LEW
I’m glad you had a good time shooting the Crystal Gayle episode of The Muppet Show, but I still won’t let you make that movie about her.
JIM
What are you talking about?
LEW
Isn’t she supposed to play the Dark Crystal?
JIM
What? No. I don’t think you understand – the crystal won’t be played an actress. It’s stone.
LEW
Jon Stone is playing the Dark Crystal?
JIM
No, you know what a crystal is. It’s like a jewel.
JERRY JUHL
I’m playing the Dark Crystal?
JIM
Oh, good lord.
LEW
That’s me! Am I playing The Dark Crystal?
JIM
Yeesh. This is what I get for having artistic ambitions and lofty goals.
DAVE GOELZ
You called, sir?
JIM
Okay, this was cute for a little while, but now it’s just starting to hurt.
JOHN HURT
When people told themselves their past with stories–
JIM
No, no, stop it! You know I meant hurt as in pain!
BOB PAYNE
Wow, I honestly didn’t think I’d be included in this biopic, but it’s nice to know I made the grade!
LEW
That’s me again! I guess now the ball’s in my court!
HOLMES A COURT
Hi, I’m taking this company now. Get out of my office.

JON STONE
Joan, we’ve talked it over, and we’ve decided that if we can’t get Jim Henson, one of us is going to have to take him out.
Jon places a gun on the table.
BOB
Golly!

KERMIT
That’s a great song, Mr. Raposo!
JON STONE
Yeah, what do you call it?
JOE RAPOSO
It’s called “Being Green” and sometimes “Bein’ Green” and sometimes “It’s Not Easy Bein’ Green” and sometimes “It Ain’t Easy Being Green” and if you’re lazy it could just be “Green.”
KERMIT
Well it sounded great!
ERNIE
I’ll say! These acoustics are the best on Sesame Street, right Bert?
BERT
Please just let me finish my bath in peace.

ORIGINAL TWEET

JIM
Hello there, my name is Jim Henson, and you probably know me as the award-winning director of the films The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth.
JON STONE (O.S.)
Um, Jim, you know you’re better known as the creator of the Muppets.
JIM
Please just let me have this.

ORIGINAL TWEET