EXT. UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND CAMPUS – DAY
Jim wanders around campus despondently, still upset over his professor’s discouraging words. He sits down on the Jim Henson Memorial Bench/Statue and looks at the face of the man he would become.
JIM
Don’t worry, Jim Henson. Someday, I will grow up to be you!
NARRATOR (V.O.)
And he did. wtf???

ORIGINAL TWEET

In the front rows of the cathedral are the main Sesame Street Muppets, as well as other major puppet icons who came before Grover, including Howdy Doody, Kukla, and Ollie. Charlie McCarthy is seated with his sister, Candice. Everyone looks very sad, except for Mr. Johnson, who is eating popcorn and waiving a foam finger.
At the front of the room is a little, cute, adorable, lovable coffin by a podium. Jim Henson walks up to the podium to address the congregation of mourners.
JIM
Good morning and Wubba Wubba.
MOURNERS
(in unison, mournfully)
Wubba Wubba.
JIM
I’m not quite sure what to say in times like this, so I’ve prepared some vague hand gestures, as well as some accompanying sound effects that I’ll make with my mouth.
Jim moves his hands around and makes a FUN, SILLY SOUND EFFECT. The mourners CHUCKLE WARMLY. He makes a SAD, SILLY SOUND EFFECT. The mourners START CRYING.
JIM
I guess what I’m trying to say is that Grover is in a better place. His spirit is in Faffner Hall now. You may not know what that is yet, but you will!
NARRATOR (V.O.)
They won’t.

ORIGINAL TWEET

NARRATOR
Now, I never met Jim Henson myself, but I’ve worked with his friends and his characters so much that I guess you could say I’m overcompensating for that. Hi, I’m Whoopi Goldberg, and you know, they say that behind every great man is a greater woman, or at least a more womanly woman, usually. For Jim Henson, that woman was his dear friend Mildred Huxtetter. Historians attribute her with saving the Muppets after the infamous Connie Stevens episode of The Muppet Show nearly ruined the Muppets forever….

ORIGINAL TWEET

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Perhaps no one will ever know who the Muppet Man really was. Some say there never was a Muppet Man at all – that he was just a local myth, myth. But those of us who still believe in him best remember him for his cover of a nonsense song from an Italian documentary about Sweden.