We see a long line of deadly assassins in a TRUCK SHOT from right to left, starting at the back of the line. There’s a samurai with swords, a ninja with knives, a Soviet spy, an old western gunman, a caveman with a big club, Boba Fett, a Robocop, and, at the front of the line, a Robin Hood-like archer. The archer’s arrow is pointed at an apple on the head of the Southern Colonel, who is being performed by a nervous Jerry Nelson. She shoots the arrow into the apple.
JIM
That’s very nice, thank you. Next!
The archer exits. Jim replaces the apple on the colonel’s head as the line moves forward. The Robocop steps up and points a giant gun at the puppet. Jim looks at Jerry with a giddy smile.
JERRY N
He doesn’t have to stand so close, does he?
JIM
That’s okay, he doesn’t mind. Action!

The DICKENSIAN CHRISTMAS MUSIC ENDS as we see that the banter about apples has been coming from our narrators, GONZO and RIZZO THE RAT, dressed in 19th Century British attire and standing behind an apple cart.
GONZO
They won’t last long the way you’re eating them!
RIZZO
What can I say? Eating things is my main character trait!
GONZO
Rizzo–
Rizzo notices the audience and CLEARS HIS THROAT to signal Gonzo. Gonzo turns and looks at the audience.
GONZO
Hello! Welcome to The Jim Henson Biopic: The Musical! My name is Brian Jay Jones.
RIZZO
And my name is Rizzo the Ra– Hey, wait a second, you’re not Brian Jay Jones!
GONZO
I am too!
Rizzo opens his copy of Jim Henson: The Biography and shows Gonzo and the audience the author photo.
RIZZO
See this! You two don’t look anything alike!
GONZO
Well that’s just because he isn’t wearing his hat.
Gonzo puts a big hat on top of the book and poses for Rizzo. Rizzo smiles and nods with recognition.
RIZZO
Oh yeah… but that only proves that you’re identical, not that you’re the same person.
GONZO
Of course I am! I know everything about this story!
RIZZO
Oh yeah? What happens next?
GONZO
This scene will end at precisely the moment when the screenwriter has nowhere else to go with it.
RIZZO
And when will that be?
GONZO
Now.