The Muppet Christmas Carol – Bears Wear Hats https://bearswearhats.com Sat, 03 Jul 2021 21:45:11 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.5 194645303 Dead to Begin With https://bearswearhats.com/2021/07/03/17/238/ Sat, 03 Jul 2021 13:45:00 +0000 http://bearswearhats.com/?p=238 Continue readingDead to Begin With

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This is a follow-up to the previous post.

Gonzo looks at the audience in an intense CLOSE UP.
GONZO
The puppetry arts were dead to begin with.
RIZZO
Wh– Pardon me?
GONZO
That’s how the story begins, Rizzo! The puppetry arts were dead to begin with! As dead as a doornail.
RIZZO
Hold on a second, Mr. Jones. You can’t just say the puppetry arts were dead before Jim Henson came along! We’ll get angry letters! Puppetry has a long, rich history of talents. Think of all the people in the audience you’ll upset!
GONZO
Oh really?
Gonzo gets up in Rizzo’s face and looks him in the eye.
GONZO (CONT’D)
(flatly)
Who?
RIZZO
I dunno… Bil Baird stans?
Gonzo stares at him for a while in judgmental silence.
Gonzo turns to us again.
GONZO (CONT’D)
Dead as a doornail.

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Greetings from Gonzo and Rizzo https://bearswearhats.com/2021/07/02/15/232/ https://bearswearhats.com/2021/07/02/15/232/#comments Fri, 02 Jul 2021 11:59:43 +0000 http://bearswearhats.com/?p=232 Continue readingGreetings from Gonzo and Rizzo

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The DICKENSIAN CHRISTMAS MUSIC ENDS as we see that the banter about apples has been coming from our narrators, GONZO and RIZZO THE RAT, dressed in 19th Century British attire and standing behind an apple cart.
GONZO
They won’t last long the way you’re eating them!
RIZZO
What can I say? Eating things is my main character trait!
GONZO
Rizzo–
Rizzo notices the audience and CLEARS HIS THROAT to signal Gonzo. Gonzo turns and looks at the audience.
GONZO
Hello! Welcome to The Jim Henson Biopic: The Musical! My name is Brian Jay Jones.
RIZZO
And my name is Rizzo the Ra– Hey, wait a second, you’re not Brian Jay Jones!
GONZO
I am too!
Rizzo opens his copy of Jim Henson: The Biography and shows Gonzo and the audience the author photo.
RIZZO
See this! You two don’t look anything alike!
GONZO
Well that’s just because he isn’t wearing his hat.
Gonzo puts a big hat on top of the book and poses for Rizzo. Rizzo smiles and nods with recognition.
RIZZO
Oh yeah… but that only proves that you’re identical, not that you’re the same person.
GONZO
Of course I am! I know everything about this story!
RIZZO
Oh yeah? What happens next?
GONZO
This scene will end at precisely the moment when the screenwriter has nowhere else to go with it.
RIZZO
And when will that be?
GONZO
Now.

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